I don’t really have anything too important to write about right now, but I feel like writing, so I might as well. I was always told by my teachers in grade school that I’m a good writer. Funny, because I hated it. I hated how hard I had to concentrate on a subject I didn’t care about. I hated how I had to pretend to care about it. Most of all, I hated not being able to write about what I wanted to write about, the way I wanted to write it. I always had to follow someone else’s standards. Then something amazing happened. I graduated, and I discovered I actually like writing, especially since I am now free to write about anything I want.
Anyhoo, I originally wanted to start youtube vlogs, mostly of me talking about the same things I write about now, but it wasn’t a good fit for me. For starters, I’m camera shy. I have some short-term memory trouble and I was always feeling like I had to write a script of sorts just to remember what I wanted to talk about. I lose my train of thought and forget words I’m looking for. I figured if I was going to write it down first, might as well just keep a written blog instead. Vlogs take a lot of energy out of me and I felt like it wasn’t something I would be able to do regularly. And who wants to be on camera when they feel like shit?
I hope at some point to return to the youtube world, and I do plan on making videos occasionally. There’s a Lupus convention in Los Angeles coming up soon. I would like to get some footage from it if cameras are allowed. If not, I will most likely blog about it.
A strange thing about me I suppose is I don’t do a lot of blog reading. I occasionally read other blogs but I have a terrible focus issue and reading is a pain in the ass for me sometimes. Writing is different though. It just flows.
Aside from enjoying writing as a hobby, I think it’s important for the world to know what it’s like to be a sick person. Whether you’re sick yourself, or just a curious healthy person, I think a big part of raising awareness is getting other people to imagine themselves in your shoes. It helps eliminate the ignorant attitude that people have towards anyone with a health issue, especially the “you can’t be that sick” and the “s/he just wants attention” shit that people gossip about behind your back. I can’t be sure that people like that are reading my blog but I can hope for it. I hope I can make someone more open-minded. I also hope that I can help people realize that I’m just as human as the next guy, and that sickness can happen to your average Schmoe, and that I’m just as good a friend as you’ll ever find, even though I might be too tired/sore/sick to be present some days, I try my ass off.